Dear Me

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Dear me,

Your life. And, today.

Both have same habit because they will end. After this “life”, you’ll go into the other side. Then, “today” will sublimate to the next days.

What did you do when “today” come? Have you feeling grateful for everything? Is there no regrets? There’s no madness? How if the answers are “no”, are you going to withdraw from the world?

Hei you, you made it! It is okay for not being perfect. It’s totally okay. At least, you decided try to live the way you are; with gratitude, with courage, with peace, with acceptance, and with humor.

I know that you don’t need people who ask you to fulfill their terms for their own acceptance and approval. But those people will always exist around, however. All you have to do is keep calm. Because no matter what, all of us should be better. So, be yourself, but do not stop there, be the best version of you.

Then, what I will be?

I want to be a store sometimes. A store that sell refreshment. Everything available at my store will nourish my customers souls. So, they will come back over and over again. Because life is not only about me, nor what the world gave to me. It is about what can I do for others, and how I talk to the universe.

With love,

Dinihari

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is this all I want?

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Journalist.

I did find that dream profession when I was at senior high school. Probably it was just mindless dream. No matter what, I want it then (Alhamdulillah) I reach it. I don’t really remember how I’ve been finally getting here. But yes, I am here, working as a journalist. I have fascinated by my own journey because this has taught me many things in life.

But time passed away then I realize something; it needs an enormous effort for holding on within journalism river. It is totally not easy to strict on the etics. I feel my power have drained slowly. My spirit has buried. I am nothing in the journalism world.

N.O.T.H.I.N.G

Hmm…

Dusk was falling as I laid on my pillow; thinking about this. Either my heart and head mumbling each other. My heart is trying to prod the head. I kinda still don’t know what happen with me. Probably it just because “kurang piknik” hahaha. Yeah, I don’t know. All of these apparently vague for me, wondering; is this really all I want?

 

Tangerang, June 30 2016

Personal Calling

  “But it’s still there.” I was discovering that sentence when I was reading a book, the famous one: The Alchemist. This isn’t exist in the middle of the story but in the author’s note. “It” refers to what is Coelho called as “personal calling”. What is a personal calling? It’s like something make me […]

Bipolar

Ini ditulis tepat pukul satu dinihari tanggal 5 Mei 2016, berlokasi di Kota Tangerang.

 

Saat ini ada akibat waktu lampau ketika aku menyuput kopi kebanyakan. Kafein membuat hipomanik kembali menyerang. Seharusnya si hitam menjadi mood booster. Tapi kutenggak melebihi batas sehingga menjadi “disaster”.

 

Ini adalah malam kesekian yang kunikmati dengan pikiran berkelebat secepat kereta. Banyak, cepat, tak terukur, tak terarah, tak beraturan, entah apa maunya. Dia hanya membuat kantukku tetap menjadi kantuk tetapi pikiranku tidak berhenti.

 

Energi berlimpah, seperti air sumur yang tumpah ruah.

 

BIPOLAR

 

Akal sibuk.

Sibuk merancuni gagasan.

Gagasan yang menalar lambat.

Lambat laun tinggal prakarsa.

 

-Dinihari-

Tegar

aku mengeja namamu seperti lantun dzikir yang membalut bulir tasbih. terpisah-pisah namun tetap menjadi serangkai utuh, yang paripurna. waktu itu kau sampaikan, jangan menyerah dengan isi kepalamu sendiri. karena hati dan musuh ada di dalam otakmu saja. di luar itu damai.
lalu aku berkata kepadamu, aku tidak cengeng. aku tidak mengeluh kawan. akupun bukan kalah. aku hanya sedang berhenti dari kesibukan kepalaku untuk bernapas dan merapal namamu. ritual yang kulakukan diam-diam seperti kelabu yang menjalari awan putih sore ini.

kubilang kala itu, namamu seperti sengat listrik yang menengangkan dan mengisi daya. Aku suka merapal asmamu untuk dzikirku…

tegar.

Jalan Cinta Para Pejuang

di sana, ada cita dan tujuan yang membuatmmu menatap jauh ke depan

di kala malam begitu pekat dan mata sebaiknya dipejam saja, cintamu masih lincah melesat jauh melampaui ruang dan masa, kelananya menjejakkan mimpi-mimpi

 

lalu di sepertiga malam terakhir engkau terjaga, sadar, dan memilih menyalakan lampu, melanjutkan mimpi indah yang belum selesai dengan cita yang besar, tinggi, dan bening…

dengan gairah untuk menerjemahkan cinta sebagai kata kerja

dengan nurani, tempatmu berkaca tiap kali

dan cinta yang selalu mendengarkan suara hati

 

teruslah melanglang di jalan cinta para pejuang

menebar kebajikan, menghentikan kebiadapan, menyeru kepada iman

walau duri merantaskan kaki, walau kerikil mencacah telapak

sampai engkau lelah, sampai engkau payah, sampai keringat dan darah tumpah

-Salim A. Fillah-

 

Random Word

I don’t really know what to write actually, insomnia kicked me (again).

Words just spread out in my head but too many until none of them I could arranged. Avadakadavra…. I have got a word: heaven!

Well yes, everybody has right to choose the concept of heaven by their own comprehensions,  as do most of religions.

Sure, I don’t exactly know how the heaven seems like because I alive. But in some ways, (most of) people have faith for the afterlife. Term of ‘heaven’ emerged from this hereafter concept.

Well, no matter about version do we have about heaven, they should all be respected.

tik tok tik tok…

…….

Out the very blue, the words are vanished (again) just it is..

Dua Prolog tentang Cinta

THE ALCHEMIST piked up a book that someone in the caravan had bought. Leafing through the pages, he found a story about Narcissus.

The Alchemist knew the legend of Narcissus, a youth who knelt daily beside a lake to comtemplate his own beauty. He was so fascinated by himself that, one morning, he fell into the lake and drowned. At the spot where he felt, a flower was born, which was called the narcissus.

But this was not how the author of the book ended the story.

He said that when Narcisuss died, the goddesses of the forest appeared and found the lake, which had been fresh water, transformed into the a lake of salty tears.

“Why do you weep?” the goddesses asked.

“I weep for Narcissus,” the lake replied.

“Ah, it is no surprise that you weep for Narcissus,” they said, “for though we always pursued him in the forest, you alone could contemplate hiw beauty close at hand.”

“But… was Nrcissus beautiful?” the lake asked.

“Who better than you to know that?” the goddesses said in wonder. “After all, it was by your banks that he knelt each day to contemplate himself.”

The lake was silent for some time. Finally, it said:

“I weep for Narcissus, but I never noticed that Narcissus was beautiful. I weep because, each time he knelt beside my banks, I could see, in the depths of his eyes, my own beauty reflected.”

“What a lovely story,” the Alchemist tought.

*   *   *   *

sumber: nimeshkiranverma.wordpress.com
sumber: nimeshkiranverma.wordpress.com

Ya, memikat sekali prolog di dalam buku The Alchemist karya Paulo Coelho tersebut. Tapi saya merasa ada yang mengganjal. Soal sosok danau dan si Narcissus tersebut, mengenai kesalingkaguman di antara mereka, rasanya saya merasa ada sesuatu.

Usai membaca prolog tersebutpun saya langsung terperanjat sejenak. Rasa-rasanya kilas cerita tentang Narcissus itu sudah lebih dulu saya baca, tapi di dalam buku apa saya lupa.

Akhirnya saya berhasil mengingat. Dalam Dekapan Ukhuwah karya Salim A. Fillah. Diapun menggunakannya sekilas di dalam prolog.

Ganjalan yang saya rasakan seusai membaca prolog The Narcissus tersebutpun terjawab. Dan jawabannya ada di dalam prolog yang dibuat Salim.

Si sungai berkata: I weep because, each time he knelt beside my banks, I could see, in the depths of his eyes, my own beauty reflected.

Cerna terhadap kalimat itu dikemukakan Salim bahwa “Kisah tentang Narcissus menginsyafkan kita bahwa setinggi-tinggi nilai yang kita peroleh dari sikap itu adalah ketakmengertian dari yang jauh dan abainya orang dekat.

…”telaga itu hanya menjadikan Narcissus sebagai sarana untuk mengagumi bayangannya sendiri. Persis sebagaimana Narcissus memperlakukannya,” tulis pria yang menjuluki diri sendiri sebagai hamba Alloh yang tertawan dosanya itu.

Pada dasarnya, tiap-tiap jiwa hanya takjub pada dirinya, tulis Salim mengakhiri paragraf.

Narcissus memang indah, demikian pula si danau. Tapi rasanya terlampau dangkal apabila cinta itu hanya teruntuk diri sendiri. Ke-narcissus-an hanya menciptakan gagal paham mereka yang jauh dan abainya yang di sekeliling.

Cinta sesama. Bukankah ini yang dibutuhkan?

Tapi saya sendiripun terlena karena lebih sering memikirkan bagaimana menjadi pohon yang kokoh, tegak menjulang dengan akar menghujam. Padahal, ha ha ha, yang dinantikan sekeliling adalah dahan-reranting-daun yang meneduhkan, serta buah yang ranum nan bermanfaat.

Cinta sesama itu, Salim berpandangan, persaudaraan yang sebening prasangka, sepeka nurani, sehangat semangat, senikmat berbagi, dan sekokoh janji.

Not Enough

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WAKTU kerap  seperti usapan telapak ketika kening berpeluh. Begitu saja lalu  kerin. Atau, serupa menantikan kopi dalam cangkir di depanku adem agar bisa diseruput, lambat sekali.

Ah… waktu. Adakah itu sebetulnya?

Aku rasa itu hanya akal-akalan orang gila saja.

Setelah waktu dibuat lantas segala terasa seperti berbatas. Oke, memang tak ada yang terhampar luas tanpa ujung sih.